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Puny Dude Comic

Club Heaven

 

I arrived at Club Heaven, music filled the air.

I walked straight to the door without any fear.

 

Im getting in this club Im cool enough for this place

But the man stopped me at the door, I guess this wasn't the case

 

"Excuse me sir" he said, "is your name on the list?"

"Of course it is" I said, "its gotta be on the list!"

 

He checked to see if I could get in

There was a Sal and a Sam but of me no mention.

 

WHAT!? Check again I gotta get in this place

If I don't get in this whole day was a waste!

 

Alright, last time then you must go

I WON'T LEAVE!, Im getting in I know.

 

Betty, Bob, Frank, Sally and Sue,

But sorry sir no mention of you.

 

What let me talk to the boss I said shaking my fist.

If I can talk to him, I will get on the list!

 

I am sorry sir that is impossible,

You see the Boss his schedule is full.

 

Then call him up cause I won't leave,

Call him up and tell him its Steve!

 

Use my cell phone and tell him I'm here.

When he hears my name he will let me in there!

 

So the man called him up and talked for a bit.

When I heard what was said I had a fit!

 

I'm sorry sir the boss doesnt know you,

Step aside I must let in Sally and Sue.

 

What I dont understand how could it be?

Did you tell him it was Steve? Did you tell him it was me?

 

Yes I did and you he didnt know,

Sir I am sorry but you must now go!

 

So I turned and left the club behind,

Then I had an idea, the boss I must remind!

 

So I ran back to the man at the door,

I said, "do me one more favor, if it is not a chore."

 

Call up the boss once again,

He might need a reminder of who I am!

 

Please tell the boss if you can,

That this is Steve his handy man!

 

If me he still doesn't know,

Tell him his lawn I did mow!

 

And if after that he still doesnt know me,

Tell him I'm the guy who trimmed his tree!

 

If the boss needs anymore hints,

Tell him I'm the one who painted his fence!

 

Yes, yes sir he knows who you are!

You are the one who waxed his car!

 

Great! he knows me then step aside let me in!

I'm sorry sir the boss says you can't come in!

 

He said all this doesn't mean he really knows you

You see all those works just won't do

 

You must be on the List to go in there!

But what about the work I did? Does anyone care?

 

You need a relationship to get on the list,

It seems to me sir the point you have missed.

 

Then tell him for me, I will be his friend

And he can be mine 'till the very end!

 

The man at the door stared at me blankly.

"I have bad news for you sir" he said frankly.

 

You see sir if your name is not already on the list,

It is not only the point but the opportunity you missed.

 

I'm sorry sir it is too late you see,

Now no one can let you in not the boss not me.

 

 

Footsteps

 

The beautiful choir sang inside,

Yet worship never left their lips.

Silent footsteps traveling outside,

I thought they were supposed to feed me.

They lift their hands and sing their songs,

Yet praise never comes from the hearts of stone.

Silent footsteps traveling by,

I thought they were supposed to clothe me.

The pastor speaks of love eternally,

Yet the love he speaks is not reality.

Silent footsteps stumble by,

I thought they were supposed to love me.

Praying to God asking for more,

Yet they do not give what they have.

Jesus footsteps traveled by,

Theses are the one who betrayed me.

 

 

Your Hands

 

Your hands stained by blood

The world is dead

In sin

You keep silent

Fake righteousness

Within

The blood is on your hands

Your hands

Your hands

Your hands stained by blood

People going to hell

Left and right

Is the potluck diner

Alright

No one to warn them

They didn't know

You didn't warn them

Now you know

The blood is on your hands

Your hands

Your hands

Your hands stained by blood

The blood is on your hands

Your righteousness

A LIE
A LIE
A LIE

 

*Depart from me workers of iniquity

            - Ezekiel 3:18-19, Matt 7:21-23

 

 

The Man I Never Met

 

I got a card in the mail today

From the man I never met

It read to Johnny happy 8th birthday

Had two whole dollars in it.

 

4 months went by it was 2 days before Christmas

A package cam I wondered what was in it

The label read "don't open till Christmas."

It was from the man I never met.

 

It's my birthday again I am turning nine

I got a card from the man I never met

It read, "I hope you ninth is just fine!"

"Sorry no money can't afford it."

 

Some years went by I'm 13 now

My birthday card was 2 months late

The man I never met slipped somehow

He wanted my birthday to be great

 

Five years older and year by year they came

From the man I never met

Sometimes late sometimes early but all the same

A package for Christmas a card on my birthday

 

I'm graduating soon and stop to think I did

About this man I never met

Why would he give so much to me the anonymous kid

Can he love me even though we never met?

 

I thought about it more and more

And it began to make me mad

I tried to figure out who it was, it became a chore

For one thing they had in common, they were signed

                                                         Love Dad

 

 

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