I grew up in a strict Catholic home with parents that wanted me to live a Christian life, or what
they thought was one. I went to Catholic school and had nuns and priest as my teachers ....and I was the worst kid on
the planet. I rebelled as soon as I was old enough to talk. My first sentence was..".I do it myself Mama!" I brought
my parents grief on a daily basis. I was the eldest of five. Then I became a teenager and things got so much worse. I
didn't like going to church, didn't like being taught about God and didn't like that my Daddy was so disappointed in me.
I ran away 8 times by the time I was 15 years old and I got married at 16. I was married for about a year and told
my husband he was not my Daddy when he told me what to do and he broke my jaw. So.....I ran away from him. I was later
raped by some of his friends and beaten very badly so... I went to San Antonio and joined the Army. I thought I should get discipline before I got into
some trouble. I was getting ready to ship out when I was 18 and since it was a delayed enlistment and I was female I
had to have another physical prior to shipping out. Well, I was pregnant ...what a shock. !!! I didn't even remember
getting that way so I was in big trouble. I was given the choice and left the Army. The daddy of my baby told
me he was, and when it was, see I had been drinking so much I blacked out and didn't even remember going out with him.
He helped me with expenses then after having the baby I went back to Louisiana. I got three jobs and went to trade school for accounting never seeing my baby girl. I met a man
I had gone to High School with who was the brother of my babysitter. We later married he adopted Dawn and we had Jeanie
later. We moved to Alabama after I graduated from Nursing School. He made it very clear to me that our Children would not be Catholic
and that he was going to raise them Baptist whether I liked it or not. And if I didn't like it that was tough they
were his kids too. So we compromised. They went to mass (catholic) with me then to Sunday school with him every
Sunday. For years the girls would get ready early and go with me then come home and leave with their Daddy. One day when my daughter Dawn was 5 years old she cried when I was dressing her on Sunday morning
saying, "Mommy please don't make me go there with you, I want to just go with Daddy to Church" ......I was so shocked
and I said, "Why baby?" She said, "Because Mommy they don't teach me about Jesus over there! I don't know what
happened but I started crying and crying and couldn't stop. The next thing she said changed my life forever, she said,"
Mommy why don't you go rest with Daddy for a little while and just come to the real church with us."
......I was in some kind of shock I think but I did just that. I went to Sunday school and I went to Services and in
our church the small people would come out to our service at time of prayer and invitation. Just at time of invitation
when all was quiet Dawn tugged at my blouse and I shushed her away...then she did
it again and I thought she needed the potty or something but she said, " Mommy if you go up there
and pray and say you're sorry you get to go to heaven when Jesus comes back for you!" ........ (Do you think
I was crying now???)
My husband and
I both made a profession of faith because of Dawn and we were all baptized the same day.
Our family was blessed.
my ex husband got into a bad accident with his Coca Cola truck and people were killed. He stopped going to church
and he started drinking and chasing women in bars and I was not strong enough yet to pray him through I suppose.
I couldn't take the cheating part of it and divorced him and came back to Louisiana.
I fell away and carried guilt but wouldn't go back. I have had a total of 7 relationships with men then decided a few
years ago that I needed to work on me first. I had to stop blaming God for what happened to my family and for making me walk
through life alone.
to study and read God's word and thought I needed a plan and work at getting God to forgive
me. One day I had a dream that my pastor was talking to me and told me," You can't buy forgiveness,
you have been forgiven. All you must do is confess your sin then be thankful and live in God's will. I woke up
and phoned my pastor and told him what he told me.....hahaha. He told me that the Holy Spirit works in strange ways
sometimes to beat things into our heads....especially someone hard headed like me. I have been working
since on a closer walk and praying for God to show me what he wants me to do, my purpose in his church. And I pray for
discernment to know when he tells me.
I will never
turn away again. I will be stronger when trials come because I know I cannot go on without him.
I am so thankful
for the (Baptist) teepee (A MSN community) !
Thank you for letting me share